Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey everyone, welcome to this week’s Feel Better Letter (FBL).

This is Matt.

Hope you’re all having a great week.

Today, I want to offer you a question to sit with:

What is it that you’re actually trying to get rid of?

What is it that you’re fighting against?

What is it that you’re truly resisting?

Because as much as we tell ourselves we’re doing the work — that we’re trying and putting in effort — there’s always a primary driver underneath it all.

And that primary driver will orient your focus, which will ultimately shape your results.

At the end of the day, recovery is about one thing:

It’s about getting to a state of non-resistance.

If you really look at OCD, anxiety, and the loop — or really any form of suffering — it’s often rooted in resistance.

A belief or perspective creates resistance… and that resistance keeps you stuck.

OCD, at its core, is a combination of belief and avoidance of emotion.

It’s a strong drive to not feel what you’re feeling.

So if you want to break the loop, your intention has to change.

It has to shift from trying to get rid of thoughts, feelings, or specific themes… to getting out of the loop itself.

And the way you get out of the loop is by changing the behaviors that keep it going.

And the way you change those behaviors is by reducing the resistance that creates the pressure driving them.

So if you’re trying to get rid of thoughts or feelings — even if you’re using tools like the Triple-A Response, ERP, ACT, or anything else — but your underlying goal is to eliminate thoughts or emotions…

Then you’re still operating from resistance.

If you wake up scanning your mind — “Am I having thoughts today? Am I feeling anxious?” — then your focus is still on getting rid of something.

And that keeps you in the loop.

Every day, you have to be honest with yourself:

What am I really trying to change?

What am I actually trying to get rid of?

Because even if you’re putting in effort… even if you’re “doing the work”…

If your intention is off, your results will be too.

So the first question is:

What am I actually trying to accomplish?

What am I really working on?

If your answer becomes:

“I’m focused on getting out of the loop”—

That will naturally shift your strategy, your mindset, and your actions in a completely different direction than trying to eliminate thoughts and feelings.

So that’s the question I want to leave you with this week.

If you’re looking for help with this, I’d love to support you.

We’ll be opening up some spots in Taking Back Control (TBC) in May, so feel free to submit an application.

And if you know someone who would find this helpful, please share it with them.

Wishing you all a great day and a great week.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.