Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey, friends.

Welcome to this edition of the Feel Better Letter. This is Matt.

Today I’m going to talk about something that never quite added up for me when it comes to scrupulosity, or religious OCD. And before I dive in, I want to let you know that this upcoming Thursday, I’ll be doing a live workshop on scrupulosity. I’ll be sharing things I’ve never really talked about publicly — thoughts on what scrupulosity really is and why it’s so important to break free from the scrupulosity loop if it’s something you’re stuck in.

So, to dive in a bit today: for those who don’t know my story, I’ve experienced most themes when it comes to the OCD and anxiety loop. I lived a long time in fear, and with scrupulosity specifically, I was stuck in an intense spiral for a long time.

In that spiral, all the thoughts came up:
What if I committed the unforgivable sin?
What if I got possessed?
Do I need to pray over these people? Am I doing something bad if I don’t?
Do I need to donate to this? Am I wrong if I don’t?
Did I read the Bible correctly? Did I give it enough attention? Is it bad that I lost focus? Is it bad that my mind drifted while I was praying?

On and on it goes. Anyone who has been in these loops — especially scrupulosity — knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Looking back now, because this is no longer part of my life, one of the great tragedies is that I stopped seeing fear as something that was taking from me… and realized I was giving to it. I was feeding it. That’s the only way fear survives. I gave years of my life to fear — years I can’t get back. That’s the real tragedy: fear demands everything and gives you nothing.

No matter how much time or energy I gave it, there was always the next doubt, the next loop, the next thing. Sleepless nights, insomnia — all of it. Living in that loop was, in many ways, a living hell.

And there’s something I never understood back then — something I see much more clearly today: scrupulosity has nothing to do with pursuing a genuine connection with God. Because if it did, it wouldn’t produce the kind of fruit or experience that it does.

Regardless of what religion someone practices — and I’ve worked with people from Christian backgrounds (LDS, Seventh-day Adventist, Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran), Islam, Judaism, and even atheists — scrupulosity shows up the same way. That alone shows it has nothing to do with logic or God.

It is fear.

Most religions agree on this: God is loving, peaceful, and good. But the fruit of scrupulosity is the exact opposite. It feels like hell. That was one of the things that finally woke me up. I asked myself: If my Creator is loving — rooted in peace, joy, stillness — why am I experiencing the opposite?

My experience with my Creator today is very different. My practice is very different. It looks almost the opposite of what scrupulosity had me doing.

I eventually realized I must not be seeing or doing this correctly, because the fruit of it revealed what was really going on. Trying to establish a relationship with God should not produce a hellish experience.

That paradox stayed with me for a long time, until I finally understood: scrupulosity isn’t a God problem. It has nothing to do with what your mind says it is. That’s why the more you pray, the worse it gets. It’s not because God is making you worse — it’s because God isn’t the source of the problem.

Scrupulosity is a fear problem. You take that fear and look at God through it. You project fear onto God. And everything you’re trying to do is secretly an attempt to get rid of your fear.

But the only way to do that is to stop projecting outward and finally confront what’s happening inside you.

That’s the trap of scrupulosity. And that’s what I want to go deeper into next week.

So if you experience scrupulosity — or know someone who does — make sure to grab a seat for the workshop. I think it’s going to be one of the most powerful ones I’ve presented. I’m excited for it.

If you’re in that place right now, I understand where you are. And trust me when I say: you can get out of it. I have. Many others have. And more importantly, you can have a relationship with your Creator that actually produces the fruit you hear talked about.

Wishing you all a great day. I look forward to talking to you soon.

Register for the workshop here: https://www.restoredminds.com/reg-live-workshop-feb-2026