Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey there, welcome to this week's Feel Better Letter, or FBL.

This is Matt. Hope you're having a great day.

Today, we're going to talk about why and how minimizing your experience is not strength. I think that's a message that's often reinforced in Western society, and I want to speak into that for a bit.

Before we dive in, we had a live coaching call this past Tuesday on what it really means to live from self-trust and how to cultivate that. If you weren’t able to join us and haven’t seen the replay yet, there’s a link below in the email where you can register and get instant (and free) access. So make sure to check that out.

Now, let’s talk about minimization.

What we’re all really pursuing at the end of the day is a higher state of being — peace, love, trust, stillness. We do all kinds of things to try to get there. But most of them don’t work. In fact, most reinforce our suffering.

If you've been on this journey of healing and self-regulation, chances are, a lot of what you've tried has backfired. Whether it's over-medicating, drinking, smoking — these might offer temporary relief, but they don’t resolve anything. They just block the experience temporarily. And once the effect wears off, it all comes back.

Another common approach that backfires is trying to do something just to get rid of the discomfort. We say, "I’ll do this intervention to make it go away." But that only suppresses it — it doesn't release it.

One way we suppress is through minimization. We experience fear, panic, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, depression — and instead of confronting them, we say things like: "It’s not that bad. Other people have it worse." We use that narrative to avoid facing what’s really going on. We minimize our own experience and then throw ourselves into doing what society calls the "right" things — going to work, taking care of responsibilities, keeping it all together externally.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with going to work or taking care of your family. But the more you minimize your inner world, the more you push things down. Eventually, it builds to a point where it can’t be ignored anymore. Your body will say “no” for you. You might find yourself unable to get out of bed or unable to keep pretending you’re okay.

And often, we get praised for this. I used to be someone who never took sick days — until I got too sick to ignore it. I did this with anxiety for years, telling myself it wasn’t “that bad” because others had it worse. But that kept me stuck. I minimized it, didn’t address it, and just kept going, projecting this image of someone who had it all together. It worked… temporarily. But eventually, the pressure builds, and you can’t minimize it anymore.

It’s not strength to push away your experience, deny it, or project an image. Real strength is facing it. Being honest. Saying, “Hey, I’m experiencing something that’s impacting my life, and I want peace. I want to live differently.” That’s authentic. That’s courageous.

And if you don’t know how to help yourself, getting help — that’s strength too.

So if you want to get to those higher states, it starts with courage. But not the “pretend you’re fine” kind. The kind that’s willing to be real.

That’s the message I wanted to share today. Hope it’s helpful.

Wishing you a great weekend — spend time with people you care about and do something fun.
I look forward to talking with you soon.

Matt