Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hi, everyone.
Welcome to this week’s FBL—or Feel Better Letter.
This is Matt.

First, as we close out the month of May, if you weren’t able to check out the training we did on the four key shifts to really rewire OCD and anxiety, I highly recommend it. We've been getting a lot of great feedback—it’s one of the more powerful trainings I’ve put out. So make sure to check it out; we’ll have it linked in the email. Access is free.

With that said, today we’re going to be talking about the power of self-integrity—really, the importance of self-integrity.

So what do I mean by that?

Well, integrity is about being truthful, doing the right thing, aligning with honesty—all of that. And "self" is exactly what it sounds like: you. So self-integrity is the relationship of integrity we have with ourselves.

Interestingly enough, this is one area many people never stop to examine. And ironically, it’s probably the most important relationship of honesty and integrity that you’ll ever have to work on in your life.

When I say self-integrity, I mean this:
When you tell yourself you’re going to do something—do you actually do it?
If you say, “Hey, I’m not going to drink alcohol tomorrow,” do you follow through?
If you tell yourself, “I’m going to the gym tomorrow,” do you make that happen?

Do you follow through with yourself—unequivocally?
Are you honest with yourself?

What I’ve realized, especially during times of struggle or challenge, is that my self-integrity can get out of whack. And when that happens, it can get so off track that I can say something and not even believe myself.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to start that diet tomorrow.”
“This year is the year I’m going to lose the weight.”
“I’m finally going to start that business.”
“I’m going to overcome OCD and anxiety. I’m going to take it seriously. I’m going to give it my all.”

But what happens? You say it... and say it... and say it.
“I’m going to do it.”
But then—you don’t follow through.
Again and again.

Until eventually, when you say something, you don’t even believe yourself anymore.

That’s powerful. Because your word—especially the words you direct at yourself—matters.
A lot.

It’s foundational for any kind of real change in your life.

We talk about this a lot in TBC (Taking Back Control).
For those who don’t know, that’s our 12-week implementation program.
We’re really excited because we’ve made some big expansions—we’re now running six live groups per week.

But the key idea I emphasize in the program is that overcoming OCD and anxiety is not about more information.
It’s about realignment—internally—with your identity, your belief systems, and yes, with skills and strategies around handling thoughts and feelings.

But true recovery—not just symptom management—requires breaking the loop.

And in order to break the loop, you have to become the person who breaks it.

The reason the loop currently exists in your life, if it does, is because you’ve become the person who maintains it.
The way you handle your thoughts, feelings, your resistance, your belief systems, the compulsions you engage in—that’s all you.
No one else is doing that.

We love to project that outward, to offload the responsibility. But if we do that, we don’t have to look at ourselves.

Self-integrity means stepping into full responsibility.
Saying: “I’m going to take responsibility for my life, for my well-being.”
And if something’s off, I have to take ownership and correct it.
Because no one else can.

And the foundational step to doing that is asking yourself:
Do I follow through with myself?
When I say something, do I do it?
Do I believe myself when I say I’m going to do something?

If the answer is no—that’s your starting point.
Nothing else matters.

I could give you all the best strategies in the world, but if your foundation is shaky, it doesn’t matter what’s stacked on top. It will crumble.

Recovery is not about more information.
Everyone knows how to get a six-pack.
Even health and fitness isn’t about information—it’s about identity, beliefs, self-integrity, taking responsibility, your self-concept.

All of that lives in your consciousness.

Yes, there are teachable skills around handling emotions and automatic thoughts. But those skills have to be built on the right foundation.

So the question for today is simple:
When I talk to myself, do I believe myself?
When I say I’m going to do something, do I actually do it?

Practice following through with yourself.

If you tell yourself today, “I’m going to follow this diet,” or “I’m going to run a mile,” or “I’m going to have that difficult conversation”—then you don’t go to bed until that happens.

Because you have to be able to believe yourself.
That’s what self-integrity is.

Wishing you all a great day.
If someone you know would benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Make sure to check out the free training we mentioned as well.
Looking forward to stepping into June with all of you.

And if you're looking for support, guidance, accountability, strategies, and community, I encourage you to fill out an application to join TBC.

With that, I wish you all a great day and a great week.
Talk to you soon.