Pedophilia OCD | Overcoming POCD | Intrusive thoughts

Pedophilia OCD | Overcoming POCD | Intrusive thoughts

https://www.restoredminds.com/5-Rules-For-Recovery

In this episode, I discuss Pedophilia OCD or P OCD. Pedophilia OCD is when a person experiences intrusive thoughts and uncertainty regarding the idea of being a pedophile. This will lead to various compulsions that include analyzing levels of arousal around children and avoiding situations where children may be present, in an attempt to keep them safe. In this episode, I talk about examples of POCD, some practical things to consider with the treatment process.

TRANSCRIPT

00:08 All right. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode where we're going to talk about pedophilia, OCD. And so, um, this continues our series on intrusive thoughts. In fact, this is one of the, the last, um, episodes we're gonna make in this intrusive thought series because it still falls on that, um, that third category of under the umbrella of intrusive thoughts and the in the sexual unwanted thoughts, right? And so when, when we talk about pedophilia, OCD, um, in this episode I want to talk about a few things I want to talk about, you know, what it is and how we really distinct pedophilia. OCD from, you know, someone who actually is a pedophile. And then I want to talk about, um, you know, basically the, the treatment modalities, like how you work with someone with this. And then, um, some common compulsion's that people perform to know, you know, basically what not to do if this is, um, you know, something that you struggle with or you're working with someone who struggles with this.

01:01 So when it comes to a pedophilia city, let's just talk about what it is. So pedophilia, OCD is when your brain is ultimately creating thoughts or images, um, that are again, intrusive, um, when it comes to the idea of pedophilia. Now this can take on various, um, looks for, for people. So they might have the image pop up of, you know, having sexual relations with, with a child, right? Or it with their child or you know, uh, someone else's child. Right? And, and then in that takes on various forums because then people will get caught up in the idea of like, it could be an infant, right? Like, did I touch that infant? Um, or, you know, they'll have the image of like, you know, inappropriately touching a child. But then it also be like, Oh, I had a thought. And then realizing that, that, that person was, you know, 16, 17, does that make me a pedophile?

01:53 Right? And so there's kind of that dual dynamic there where it can take on kind of any range. Right. And, and you know, I've talked with people that have, have had kind of every range of thought in that, in that category. And, um, and the first thing is realizing that these kinds of thoughts, like these intrusive thoughts are essentially, you know, they're normal. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. Now, one of the things that happens with OCD is that you experienced the intrusive thought. And because people were those CDR, you know, oftentimes more creative and more sensitive than, than maybe the average person. Um, what happens is, is that that thought fires off and then the sensitivity to that thought being a very taboo thought creates this alarm system to go off right in the brain, right? And essentially your brain puts those two things together, right?

02:45 And then what happens is because that alarm system goes off, um, you just become more sensitive to that, to the, to the thought. And every time you're engaging in those compulsive behaviors, whether it's praying about the thoughts, avoiding situations where there might be children, um, avoiding schools, uh, you know, avoiding shows where they're, you know, I mean, uh, a lot of avoidance compulsion's as you're gonna see 'em come up with, with pedophilia, OCD. Um, anytime you're doing anything that reinforces that, that I, that thought or that image, that idea is dangerous. It just makes the alarm system that much more active when it comes to that thought. So, um, what, what happens with, with pedophilia, cities, people start to engage, like they start to engage in this an analysis of whether or not they are in fact a pedophile or if they're a danger to someone or if they ever acted in a way that could have, um, you know, fall under the category of pedophilia, right?

03:42 So there's a lot of mental analysis, mental compulsions that that happens with, um, people with pedophilia, OCD. And so let's talk about the idea though, of how we distinct pedophilia city versus, um, someone who is actually a pedophile and the answers is super straight forward. Um, people who are actually pedophiles aren't worried about the fact that that's they're a pedophile, right? They aren't. People who are actually, pedophiles aren't engaging in this dialogue in their head. They're, you know, of like, Oh my gosh, did this happen? Did this happen? Did this happen? Or, you know, am I going to do this? Am I actually this? Right? And, and assessing their character, they find the idea of being sexually involved with children pleasing, arousing, right. Um, and, and it's something they want. In fact, most of their time is engaged in trying to manipulate situations, how to get around children and, you know, even isolate children to, you know, in a very kind of predatorial PR predator.

04:48 And then they kind of a predatorial way, right? Where they, um, where they're looking for those experience, those opportunities. Whereas someone with pedophilia, OCD may have those kinds of thoughts pop up in their head and they miss assess the idea that because they had the thought, well, that must mean something about them. And so then they react to the thought as if it's as if they are this dangerous person and, um, spend a great deal of time trying to protect everyone, um, you know, from themselves. So they avoid children. They'll, you know, that oftentimes we'll isolate a lot. And, um, you know, and I've heard extreme instances of, you know, uh, a gentleman one time, um, was talking with, uh, he had the, these kinds of intrusive thoughts pop up and told his wife and, you know, she ended up leaving him. They, because they just didn't understand what was going on.

05:39 She thought he was a danger to the child, which then of course just reinforced the idea in his mind that he was actually dangerous. Um, so when it comes to dealing in, in treating, you know, pedophilia city, it's first realizing this idea of ego-dystonic egosyntonic thoughts, right? Realizing that these thoughts are not something that the person actually desires. And, and because of that, um, you know, that that clearly is a, is a sign of pedophilia city versus actual, um, pedophilia. And then secondly, um, you know, ultimately what we're trying to do is we use the same exact treatment format as for this form of the city as any other form of OCD. Right? And, and I talk about that through this series, and you know, some people get so caught up on the, the content of the thought, right? Whether it's a harmful thought, a religious thought, and we need to realize that this isn't a pedophilia problem.

06:30 It's not a sexuality problem, it's an OCD problem, right? And when we're talking about OCD, so really, really solidifying that idea of just being like, Hey, this is an OCD problem. Um, and treating it as such as is really important for that person. Now what will happen sometimes is that person will then want the reassurance continuously that this is an OCD problem, right? That they aren't really a pedophile. Right? And because a lot of times people have, have dealt with this in a very isolated way and, and, um, you know, a secretive way for years, sometimes decades, right? And, and so when they're finally surfacing, and in talking about it, that idea that it, that they aren't this, this great fear that they're a pedophile and this is just OCD is very relieving to them. Right? And, and, and an understandably, but the problem is, is that can quickly become a compulsion as well when it comes to like, well, you sure it's OCD and always like they start reviewing the sites, you know, websites and videos and stuff like that.

07:28 Um, you know, uh, YouTube videos and all that of, of well, okay. And, and really getting clear on the, on the definition, right? So hopefully that makes sense that, you know, what we don't want to do is reinforce anything with these thoughts, right? We don't want to reinforce these thoughts in any way. And what we want to do ultimately is allow that alarm to fire off and accept that uncertainty and then extinguish all the compulsive behaviors because that will train our brain that these thoughts aren't actually dangerous. Right? So there's this, this rewiring process that takes place with the alarm system, so to speak. And we do that again through exposure and response prevention, just like we did with any other of the forms of OCD. One of the things that is really helpful with this particular form of OCD is just, just the willingness to talk about these taboo thoughts, right?

08:18 Which is oftentimes why it's so helpful to actually talk about this with someone who understands OCD. Um, you know, because again, in one of the things that I really do encourage is to actually talk about this with someone who understands OCD and OCD treatment. Because I have heard of situations where, you know, if you talk about this with a therapist who just system to understand that and it doesn't understand these treatment methods, it doesn't understand this problem of OCD in general. Um, I've heard of, you know, therapists misreporting people to, uh, you know, authorities and, and, uh, child protection. And you know, those are courts horror stories. They're few and far between and there's plenty of information and, and, uh, you know, stuff out there now. So hopefully it's, it's, uh, not as common of an issue. Um, but what we want to do is we want to really make light of these thoughts.

09:05 Right. You know, and, and as hard and crazy as that sounds, it, it's just the same. We just look at it as the same form of any other OCD. Right. And it's very common that people with, um, you know, POCD or pedophilia city have actually had other intrusive thoughts as well. Right? And so, and they can see those and be like, Oh, I know that one was OCD, but this one, I don't know. You know, so when we talk about how we're gonna work with this and treat it right, it's really the most important thing is to identify and remove the compulsive behaviors. And, um, so I want to quickly dive into some of those in, in the, the main one, you know, with, with pedophilia city is avoidance. You know, that I really come across, right? And, and so physically and then mental behaviors obviously are going to be the mental, um, you know, analysis like rumination.

09:54 Like, did I touch the person or, you know, you know, what happened when I was this when I was 11. This, you know, and going through information in your head again and again and again, that's a huge compulsion. But physically, um, you know, what they're going to, uh, many times do is avoid situations where there are children present, right? And because they believe themselves to be a threat. And so putting yourself in situations where you're, you know, around your children or nieces and nephews, things like that, and not avoiding those situations is a, is a very critical part of the recovery process to allow those spikes to happen and then not engage in those compulsions. And, um, obviously there's many, many other compulsions that can take place, whether it's checking for arousal, um, you know, getting reassurance from people, getting reassurance from the internet, all that stuff.

10:40 So, um, you know, it really is about making sure you understand all the different compulsion's that you're doing and then systematically removing them. And again, really understanding that this is an OCD issue, not a pedophilia issue. So hopefully that was helpful in that. Again, if, um, you know, you're looking for more resources, um, you know, we have free assessments, free guides [email protected]. Um, I have some links down in the notes below, so please check that out because they are here. We're here to help you, um, you know, on this journey to recovery and really realizing that this is something that you can recover from, um, is a, is just so important and it's just the, the main message that we really want to get out to people here. So, um, thank you so much for taking the time to hang out with us today. Hope you enjoy the show and I hope you guys have a great week.