This Week in The Feel Better Letter 👇
✅ ERP isn’t about chasing extreme exposures—it’s about releasing fear from the body.
✅ You don’t heal by desensitizing to themes—you heal by clearing the emotion underneath them.
âś… Real recovery happens when you stop managing fear and start letting it move through you.
âś… New episode: The Hidden Cost of High Performance
Matt's Message of the Week
Why I Changed My Mind About ERP
“Fear isn’t in the theme—it’s in the body.”
If you’ve been in the OCD or anxiety world for any amount of time, you’ve heard ERP talked about everywhere.
And for years, I taught it the same way it’s traditionally taught.
But after working with thousands of people, my perspective has shifted.
Not because ERP doesn’t work…
…but because the way people are taught to use ERP often keeps them stuck.
Most ERP out there is theme-based:
“If you desensitize to this topic, you’ll break the loop.”
But that’s not how the loop works.
Themes aren’t the cause of fear—they’re the target of fear.
If you only work on the theme, you’re treating the projection instead of the source.
This is why people desensitize to one theme…
…and another one pops up.
The problem was never the theme.
It was the fear stored in the nervous system.
And this is why I no longer believe in extreme exposures, graphic scripts, or forcing people into content that violates their values.
Fear is an emotion.
Fear is energy.
And the purpose of exposure is to activate the fear so it can be released—not intensified, suppressed, or trapped.
Hierarchies can help in some situations…
…but most people make exposures too small, go too slow, or get overwhelmed by trying to create the perfect plan.
What actually works?
Simple, direct exposures that activate the fear — paired with the ability to release it.
Not white-knuckling.
Not bracing.
Not “holding on until the fear goes down.”
Releasing it.
Because when the fear drains out, your perspective shifts naturally.
Certainty returns naturally.
And the theme loses its power—not because you desensitized to it, but because the fuel behind it is gone.
That’s recovery.
That’s how you actually break the loop.
(Click below to listen to the full message.)
Helpful Episodes for the Week
The Hidden Cost of High Performance
In this episode, Matt breaks down how “high performance” can secretly turn into emotional avoidance…and the real cost of living that way.
👉 [Watch Episode]
The Power of Unity and Love
Explore the transformative power of love in fostering unity and breaking down barriers. Learn how embracing unconditional love can create peace and connection in a divided world.
👉 [Watch Episode]
Understanding and Overcoming Harmful Intrusive Thoughts
Struggling with harmful intrusive thoughts? Learn how to differentiate them from real intentions, break free from the thought loop, and regain control using proven strategies for long-term relief.
👉 [Watch Episode]
Interested in Working Together?
🧠Free Assessment: Get Your Custom Guide
Take a quick assessment to identify where you are in your recovery journey and get a personalized guide with next steps.
👉 [Take the Free Assessment]
đź“– The Book: From Stuck to Unstuck
Learn the Triple-A Response™ and discover a clear, proven path for stepping out of the fear loop and reclaiming your life.
👉 [Get the Book]
🌱 Taking Back Control Program
Join our 12-week recovery program and get the structure, support, and guidance you need to create lasting change.
👉 [Apply to Join]
🗣️ Work 1-on-1 with Matt
Get personalized coaching and direct support from Matt to solidify your recovery and deepen your practice of trust.
👉 [Work with Matt]
This Week’s Reminder
You don’t heal by pushing harder.
You heal by releasing the fear your body has been carrying.
To your freedom and success,
Matt
