Real Event OCD

Real Event OCD

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In this episode, we are going to discuss Real Event OCD. Real event OCD is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. A person living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ruminates over a real event that occurred, typically one that they regret, with what feels like no avail. 

So in this episode, I am going to discuss what real event OCD is and how it onsets in a person's life. 

Hope you find this helpful!

TRANSCRIPT

(00:05):

All right. Hey there. And welcome to this episode where we're going to talk about real event OCD. And so, um, my name is Matt Codde and I'm a licensed clinical social worker and I'm the founder of restored minds. And so on the South side, I want to dive into a question that I got recently about the idea of when you get, when you get OCD around a real event, right. And separating the idea of like the real event itself between, you know, when it becomes a problem about ruminating about it, analyzing it and really obsessing about it. Right. And this can happen over anything, right. It can happen over a breakup, it can happen over, you know, losing a job. Right. You know, sometimes it usually it's around some kind of major transition, right. Which is why we get stuck on it. And what happens is, is that it's a real event.

(00:55):

So people were, you know, they argue that it's a harder form of OCD or a little more confusing because it really happened. Right. So a lot of, um, think there's a misconception out there that OCD can only exist around fake things. Right. Or, you know, like the idea that can only exist future-based right. Because it's an anxiety problem. Anxiety is always about the future and that's not necessarily the case. Right. Because, um, you know, I mean, we can get locked on to anything. Right. I mean, and, and I've seen people have all sorts of different types of obsessions both past and future. And so it really is about identifying a situation or a fear versus like, you know, getting obsessed about that. Right. And separating those two things. So, um, when we talk about real event OCD, what we're, what we're really talking about is usually a past event.

Speaker 1 (01:47):

Right. Cause by the past that already happened. Now the idea of a real event, um, you know, first and foremost, I want to start kind of by challenging that idea. Right. Because there are the things that happened in our life. Right. And there are the past, that's what makes, you know, makes us up to who we are today. Right. Is the things that we went through now, the idea of like a real event obsession, right. The problem with that is, is that it assumes that you remember everything exactly how it was. And very rarely as humans are we able to actually remember everything and also, you know, we only have our own perception of the event. Right. So what can happen is because it wasn't real event, let's say you got, let's say you lost a job or didn't get a job or, um, you know, even a relationship.

(02:35):

And it let's just use that as an example. Well, yes, the relationship didn't right. And if you got dumped or broken up with, right, like that relationship did, and then you'll remember that. Right. Um, most of us remember our significant relationships that, that end. Right. And they can in a variety of ways. Right. And, and the reality is, is it did end. Okay. But your perception about the relationship itself, how it ended, why it ended, it may be distorted from what actually happened, especially in the perception of your old partner. Right. So when we talk about a real event, like obsessing about a real event, and then if you spend the next, you know, let's say six months, just ruminating and ruminating and ruminating and ruminating about that relationship and how great it was and how you're never gonna find anyone else like them. And, you know, and your mind just goes down all these crazy places.

(03:29):

Well, we need to be able to separate the idea from, you know, grieving a breakup and grieving and transition to in an unhealthy way obsessing and, and ultimately ruminating about an experience that we had. Right. Because, and so, so that's the first thing is that when it, when we talk about real event, real event is perception based. Right. And it doesn't necessarily mean that we remember the event is it actually happened. We're going to remember our perception. And even then we're going to remember a distorted version of it. So chances are, you're, you're actually not remembering the event as it really happened. Secondly, you know, one can make the argument that look because it's in the past, it's not real anymore. Like it doesn't exist anymore. Right. The only thing that exists is, is the present moment. Right. And, um, it's not that it didn't happen, but the idea that being real, like it's not here anymore.

(04:25):

Right. And so, um, and, and that, that goes more into that kind of like existential kind of, um, levels, you know, that I was talking about in the last episode, but I mean, really people, people latch onto these things and they, they give them, they give themselves the excuse or validation of obsessing about it because it's real. And they validate staying in these loops because it's real. And so the first two points I want to make is, is like, well, real based on perception. Right. And it doesn't, your reality is not necessarily my reality or other people's reality. Second is as if it's not happening anymore. I mean, you want to make the argument that it's not real anymore because you know, it doesn't, it's not here. Right. And anxiety by its very nature, always lives in the past and future. So what will happen is we'll take a past event and then, you know, just kind of like fester on it and then talk about how that's going to impact your future.

(05:23):

But the whole time you're missing is right now. And that really is the problem of most anxiety struggles, right? Most stress related struggles is that we are missing out on right now, worrying about something that's not happening, be it in the past or in the future. So when we talk about real event OCD, I'm not minimizing the event that the person is struggling with. Right. Of course, like in many ways I usually validate it. Right. I mean, usually it's a pretty significant event that they're, they're stuck on. Not always, but I mean, in, in many right. You know, and a big transition. And so it's not that we don't validate it or, you know, recognize that it happened, but if we're six months removed from that event and we're still festering about it, that's just impacting us now on a day-to-day basis. And it's not even really the event anymore.

(06:17):

That's the catalyst, it's just, our mind is obsessing and ruminating and caught in this loop. Therefore we need to get out of that loop. Right. Because then we need to move back into right now and begin living. Right. Because the more and more we allow fear and anxiety to take up our time, that really is, you know, how we determine how much, how big the problem is for a person. It really has nothing to do with how much anxiety the person's experiencing or the kind of thoughts they're having as much as, you know, how much is this impacting you? Like how much is this destroying your quality of life? Right. And that really is the measuring tools that we use when we're diagnosing something. Right. We talk about the kind of time that's being invested in this. And, and that's why with real events, city people often use it as a, um, as a validation as to why it's different than regular OCD or as to why it's, you know, um, more, more real right, quote unquote, because it was a real event.

(07:11):

And, and I would make the argument that it's really not any different in the sense that if the event happened and it's past and you're stuck on it, it's not the same. It's, it's, it's relatively the same as being stuck on an event in future. That's never happened before, right. Because either way, it doesn't exist right now. And if you're spending right now consumed by the past or future, and you're not able to really, you know, be present in your life like that is really what the problem is. And that's why the treatment is very backwards. Right. We think that resolving these past and future things are what's going to like calm our, you know, calm us down, but really using the tools, getting that calm inner state, and then being able to see these things in, in, throughout, like without the lens of fear on them, that actually is what the treatment process is.

(08:01):

Right. And that's why we use, you know, the, the tools that we use. And so, um, hopefully it was helpful in, in understanding this, I know it's just kind of a, it's a unique, um, perspective and, you know, and it's one of those things that if it's something you struggle with, we have additional resources for you over restored mine's dot com. Um, and we have links down right in the notes, um, beneath this, um, you know, they can, you know, you can download some free downloads as well as additional trainings. So, um, you know, please check those out. And, um, also if you found this helpful, please help us out by liking and subscribing and sharing. Um, and, uh, and yeah, passing this on to someone that might find it helpful as well. And, uh, in the comments, you know, feel free to leave us questions about any kind of feature episodes that you'd like us to make. So thank you so much. And I hope you guys have a great week. See you soon.