How to Hold Space for Setbacks in OCD and Anxiety Recovery

Setbacks are one of the most challenging parts of the journey to recovery from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress. In this post, I want to share a fresh perspective on setbacks based on insights from Matt Codde, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Restored Minds. If you’re struggling to make sense of setbacks and want to move beyond simply “coping” with symptoms, this guide is for you.

What Are Setbacks – And Do They Even Exist?

Many of us use the term “setback” to describe a period where intrusive thoughts or unwanted emotions resurface after a stretch of feeling better. Matt Codde shares that he’s begun to question the use of the word “setback,” but recognizes it’s a useful label for the experiences many face.

We often view OCD and anxiety as a cycle of intrusive thoughts, intense feelings, and compulsive responses. The trap is believing that anytime symptoms return, you’ve failed or regressed. But the reality is more complex and more hopeful than that.

The Real Purpose of Setbacks

According to Matt Codde, the presence of intrusive thoughts or anxiety is not itself a setback. The real problem arises when we start engaging in compulsions or safety behaviors that keep us stuck in the self-perpetuating loop of anxiety.

Here's the essential shift:

• Symptoms re-emerging are not a setback.

• Engaging in self-perpetuating behaviors (rumination, avoidance, compulsions) is what actually causes setbacks.

Most of us try to get rid of uncomfortable feelings by suppression, avoidance, or escapism. This only buries the emotions deeper, making them more likely to surface again later. When this happens, we’re misled into thinking the world is happening “to us” rather than recognizing that our response is what keeps us caught.

Setbacks Are Necessary for Growth

Setbacks, as frustrating as they may feel, are actually a necessary part of the healing process. They highlight areas that need your attention—triggers you haven’t confronted, beliefs you haven’t questioned, emotions you haven’t allowed yourself to feel.

Recovery from OCD and anxiety is a non-linear process. You might find yourself out of the loop and feeling better for days, or just hours, before falling back in. This doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. Instead, each cycle is an opportunity to refine your awareness and response.

How to Break Free from the Loop

The path out of chronic anxiety and OCD is not by eliminating symptoms, but by eliminating the behaviors that perpetuate the loop. With each cycle, aim to:

1. Notice when you’re caught in the loop of compulsions and worry.

2. Shorten the time you spend in the loop.

3. Increase the time between loops.

Over time, you’ll spend less time caught up in anxiety and more time in a clear, empowered state. Eventually, your “setbacks” will happen less frequently and feel less intense.

When Setbacks Happen: What to Do

• See the setback as feedback. Consider what needs to be released or confronted within you.

• Don’t judge yourself for uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. Their reappearance is not failure—they are signals.

• Focus on changing your behaviors, not suppressing symptoms.

• Recognize that setbacks are an essential part of transcending chronic anxiety—not a sign that you’re broken or on the wrong path.

A Mindset Shift for True Recovery

If your goal is to truly move beyond the OCD and anxiety loop—not just manage or cope—then it’s crucial to reframe how you see setbacks. They aren’t “bad”; they’re part of your growth. Setbacks show you what you still need to heal.

Keep in mind: If you’re only looking to “manage symptoms,” these ideas may not align. But if you’re ready to step into a new version of yourself, see setbacks not as failures, but as the necessary steps in building lasting resilience and freedom.

Final Thoughts

Setbacks are a required, natural, and even helpful part of recovery from OCD and anxiety. As Matt Codde teaches, the real victory isn’t in never experiencing unwanted thoughts again—it’s in how you respond to them and in your growing ability to break the cycle.

If you’re seeking more support on your journey, check out resources at restoredminds.com. Remember, you’re not alone, and with every “setback,” you’re given another chance to move forward.