Living with Anxiety, Not Against It: The Shift That Breaks the Anxiety Cycle
Jun 23, 2025
Living with Anxiety, Not Against It: The Key to Breaking the Anxiety Loop
By Matt Codde – Restored Minds
Are you living with anxiety, or are you living against it? This is one of the most important questions to ask yourself on the journey to overcoming anxiety, OCD, and stress-related challenges. In this post, we’ll dive deep into what it really means to live with anxiety, why resisting it keeps you stuck, and how acceptance can be the path to lasting peace.
Understanding Living With vs. Living Against Anxiety
Most people who struggle with anxiety or OCD believe that the answer lies in getting rid of anxious feelings. This approach sounds logical—after all, anxiety feels uncomfortable, even unbearable at times. But as I always say, “what you resist, persists.”
People living against anxiety are constantly trying to fight it, avoid it, medicate it, or distract themselves from it. This might look like:
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Ruminating endlessly about what could go wrong
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Analyzing every thought or sensation
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Avoiding triggers and “dangerous” situations
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Seeking endless reassurance or checking over and over
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Listening to podcasts or music constantly just to avoid being “alone” with themselves
Ironically, these behaviors don’t lead to peace—they create the anxiety loop that keeps you stuck.
On the other hand, people who truly live with anxiety understand it’s a normal human emotion. They allow the feeling to be present, experience it, and let it move through them. This is not about liking anxiety or wanting it, but rather dropping the battle against it. When you stop reacting fearfully to anxiety itself, it loses its grip on your life.
The Real Cause of Anxiety Loops
Here’s the truth: Anxiety isn’t the disorder. Resistance is. As I explained in my book, From Stuck to Unstuck, the real problem isn’t fear or anxiety—it’s our fear of fear and our relentless attempts to get rid of the feeling.
Tools used in psychology, such as the Yale-Brown Obsessive-Compulsive Scale (Y-BOCS), don’t actually measure how much anxiety you have. They measure how much time you spend trying to avoid, suppress, or escape from anxiety. The more you fight it with compulsions, rumination, avoidance, or reassurance, the worse it gets.
Moving Past Anxiety—The Path to Recovery
Recovery and true progress happen when you learn to experience your emotions without fighting them. When you accept anxiety as part of your human experience, you “transcend the loop.” Your consciousness rises above fear, moving into healthier emotional states like courage, trust, and peace.
So ask yourself honestly:
Am I living with anxiety, or against it?
Is your daily energy spent avoiding, resisting, or analyzing anxious feelings? Or can you allow yourself to feel, experience, and move forward anyway?
When you choose to live with anxiety—without letting it dictate your actions— you reclaim control of your life.
Next Steps for Your Recovery Journey
If you’re ready to break the anxiety loop and start living with anxiety in a healthier way, I’m here to support you. Check out the Restored Minds newsletter and free monthly coaching call (links in the show notes) to get ongoing encouragement and practical tools for your recovery journey.
Remember, overcoming anxiety isn’t about never feeling it again; it’s about changing your relationship with it. Living with, not fighting against, is the gateway to greater peace, wellbeing, and freedom.
